Ok, so today started with me sleeping in a little, as I have a tendency to do on Tuesdays, and by the time I was out of the shower, I already had a call from Work.
Apparently there was some problem with something and I had to call someone who wasn’t in yet because there was a demo happening right now that didn’t work.
Well, that’s no more than standard for one of our demos, so once the person that knew about it was in, we got to work trying to figure out what was wrong (it was a piece of software I’d never touched before – the reason I was looking at it was because the ones that did know about it happened to be at a seminar). Whilst in the process of what is always a fairly frustrating procedure, I figured I’d make myself some coffee, as by this point I’d been up and working for an hour and a half and had yet to have either breakfast or caffeine.
I was going to just have instant…but then I saw the jar of ground coffee, and figured I’d have some real coffee.
I should have had the instant
Sometimes I use my coffee machine, sometimes I use my plunger. I was only going to have one cup – maybe two at the most, so I figured I’d use the plunger. So I boil the jug, and put some coffee in the bottom of the plunger. Then I look at it, and add another couple of spoonfulls – I felt like I needed it.
In between doing this and waiting for the jug to boil, I’m jumping between the kitchen and my laptop on the dining room table where I’m talking to my co-worker via IM – still trying to solve the problem that is holding up a demo.
So the jug boiled, and I poured it in to the plunger – just enough for a couple of cups, I definitely needed two by now. Then I push the plunger down just till it sits on top, and let it sit for a little bit while I quickly poked at the problem again.
Now, coffee nearly ready, the moment of Caffeine finally approaching, I push the plunger all the way down. But there’s a problem – it’s offering up more of a resistance than any normal hot beverage should. That, is because this is no normal coffee. No, this is Demon Coffee, sent to me this day to punish me for some sin known only to the Lords of Caffeine.
Well aware of the insistent flashing window on my computer, telling me that I should be making someone else’s lack of planing my own emergency Right Now, I push the plunger with a little more force – and suddenly, it’s easy. It goes right to the bottom in an instant, but in that same instant the most enormous fountain of gritty brown liquid shoots into the air.
It is over in a second, and I am standing there with coffee down my front, coffee on my jeans, coffee on the floor, coffee on the bench, coffee all over the jug, last night’s as yet unwashed dishes and in the kitchen sink, coffee in the unfortunately still open sugar jar, coffee on the walls, coffee on the ceiling!.
There is now a big brown fallout zone about a metre in radius with me at the centre.
So after staring at the destruction mutely for a second or two, I pour what remains of the muddy, gritty liquid in to my cup, dab at it ineffectively a couple of times, then go and sit down in front of my computer to face the rest of the day.
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